Dear loyal readers,

I have made a very important decision for my adult life. Starting tomorrow, I will eat Macaroni and Cheese every day for breakfast.

Love,
Julie

Julie's Career Exploration, Part 1

Still in:
Doctor
Lawyer
Accountant
Astronaut
Police Officer
Scientist
Zookeeper
Rabbi
Administrative Assistant
CEO
Bankrobber
Cat

Out forever:
Clockmaker
Clock inspector
Clock repairer

my dad part 2

Dad: I really did enjoy those vagina monologues. Especially the free luna bars! And of course the anal lube!
Me: Dad, it was the vagina monologues... I don't think that was anal lube.
Dad: ohhh, i've been doing something wrong

i hope I get to work at least one long, arduous day McDonald's, because then afterwards I could say

Boy, am I Mcxausted!

Sorority Research

I picked up a copy of Pledged, by Alexandra Robbins. The back cover promises secrets, horrifying psychological abuse, the perpetuation of everything that becomes wrong with young Greek women, everything that’s wrong with women. Obviously, I had to figure out whether I was perpetuating low-self esteem in the right way since there are no cheat notes hidden in my President's robe. Page one: hair and nails. The book is dumb and boring. The thud it made raised the dust on the copy of I Am Charlotte Simmons I read last spring break. Well that was a fun romp into the loss of teenage innocence. I like other books better.

My Dad

In the Kitchen:

Mom: Look honey, I "made" (had leftover from lunch at burger heaven with aunt janine) you dinner!
Dad: what is this crap? YOU KNOW I DON'T EAT CARBS!

Right after a carb free dinner:
Dad: "We can watch tv together, but I only listen to podcasts now" (Puts on Antiques Roadshow- then puts in earphones and listens to a probably British artifact related podcast)

canadian heartbreak

When Alanis Morrisette gave soured love an anthem in You Oughta Know, she melodically questioned whether her hell-spawn ex (allegedly Full House’s goofy uncle Dave Coulier) had been able to replace her yet unchallenged level of perversity. ("Is she perverted like me?")According to Morisette, the extent to which she was perverted was manifest in her willingness to “go down on [Full House’s goofy uncle Dave Coulier] in a theatre.” As the song approaches its eleventh anniversary, her question opens the gateway to greater social analysis. If in 1995, back-row fellatio was the most obscene sex act a jilted lover could cite in an act of catchy public embarrassment, would the same act be as foul by today’s standards? Foul enough to vilify Full House’s goofy uncle Dave Coulier? To find out, I am going to interview people who were alive in 1995 and who are still alive now. Stay tuned. In the mean time, comment with your thoughts.